Mamihlapinatapai
by Cielo-negro
Summary: The heirs' gazes met, each silently pleading the other to begin something they both knew they desired but which they didn't want to initiate. 0027.


The first time that Sawada Tsunayoshi and Enma Kozato saw each other, they pitied one another. They were too alike much to the Shimon's discomfort. Just imagine the shame he felt when he saw their similarities between them. He was already bullied enough, he didn't need his own famiglia mocking him or isolating him. He didn't need-

He didn't need these silly thoughts. He had a mission to complete.

Then their eyes met and he couldn't help but think that this thing- because Vongola isn't human, it's a disgusting creature- felt the same as he did. He couldn't accept it. It made him feel dirty, this feeling of connection with the enemy, with a monster. And he would never admit the existence of his own beast, a beast of the purest green. But Enma was just being childish. He needed to be mature; they confide a task of outmost importance to him. He will get back to those that destroyed his everything.

He looked into those brown eyes that were just too wide and innocent and hope-filled and monster-less. Something in him wanted to befriend the happiness-destroyer and something in that same life-render wanted to reach out for him. Those eyes were to expressive. So why couldn't he see the beast? It must be because that creature is too good of a hypocrite.

And again that damned hesitation overtook him, freezing his legs, hands and his lips just wouldn't budge. His eyes stared into the Vongola Decimo's form- so weak and soft and so seemingly warm- before he remembered with who he had to deal with. The green, green monster of his was luckily there to remind him. To remind him that this boy crushed his life and he needed to pay. He didn't need to be his comrade... even if his heart wanted someone to just spend time, laugh with and comfort him in his restless days. Was he really desperate enough to approach that thing in such ways?

Enma wasn't. He was too afraid to talk to him. When he tried to get close to him, hesitation would snake up his legs towards his throat and grip it, clenching its hold when those eyes, those eyes looked at him. His first day went by unsuccessfully and hesitation, the enervating little chain it was, held him back.

After all the bullying he went through, the red headed just didn't find it in him to be surprised when those hooligans jumped him. He had been surprised when, for the first time of his life, someone tried to help him. Much good it didn't do, they were both beaten, but the thought-

"Are you ok?"

It was that Vongola Decimo he saw when he lifted his body up from the ground. The enemy was asking him if he was ok, worrying over him. It made him feel warm, so warm. Too warm- he didn't need to feel this... And again he looked into those damned caring eyes. Enma noticed then the warmth in them, the movements of the other. They felt the same thing- he just had no words to describe it in any other way.

Seconds later, their hands accidentally touched, a surge of something passed over him and it didn't come from the ring. It wasn't disgust, nor hatred. It was something so akin to affection.

So he ran away.

The two boys met again far later that very same day when Enma was sewing his torn pants by the river side. He was surprised by the Decimo's arrival and had expected the other to mock his lack of skill at everything. He wouldn't have foreseen that that same 'monster' would shoot its hand up to grab his own hand and try to stop his fall. Again, it had done more damage than good; both ended up drenched.

The bea-Tsu-st helped him up. The bea-Tsu helped him carry his belongings. The bea-Tsuna ask him if he was ok. The b-Tsuna talked with him, so gently and sweetly, asked him if he would like to spend the night at it- his house and help him. The Shimon descendant accepted.

"Ah! Let's go before the sun sets!"

The warmth spread again and it felt too hot even if his wet body shivered at the lightest breeze. The heat felt suffocating, he was sweating and fear came to replace hesitation. Enma Kozato never really had friends. He didn't know what to do, he didn't want to scare the other away, he didn't want to be enemies.

Their gazes met and they were sure that there was the same spark in both their eyes, the same unknown desire. Each too afraid to comprehend the feeling and tacitly walked home.

The place was different than what Enma thought it would be. It was more homey, cleaner, nicer... more fitting for someone like Tsunayoshi. They entered and he was automatically offered dry clothes by a kind mother who quietly rebuked her son for arriving so late and in such conditions.

She shooed them upstairs, telling them that she'll prepare the baths- "You don't want to get sick! Oh what silly children they are, worrying their parents,"- and some food - "You two are growing boys!"

He felt as if he could belong here. In the messy room with the gentle and awfully motherly boy. 'No, I don't,' the Shimon lied to himself. He sat down after the mother calmed down.

"It's cheerful here."

"More like noisy," sighed Tsuna.

"Starting tomorrow, you should just leave me alone. If you hang around me, you'll be bullied again." Enma found it strange to care for his supposedly nemesis and he knew that he should be truculent with the other but he couldn't help but just caring. It troubled him.

"D-don't worry about it, ok? I get caught in these sorts of fights a lot. I'm kinda hopeless myself, see..."

Tsunayoshi- not Vongola because a boy with such attitude just must never be involved with horrible creatures like those clam imbeciles- tried to comfort him by telling his home economics misfortunes. It was only when that cow child came in with a grenade that exploded in the room allowing Enma to see all the hidden failed exams in Tsuna's drawer that he accepted it. They belonged side by side and that made the red headed so happy. A laugh escaped him loud and clear, joy filling his heart.

The night passed by too fast.

The morning, they walked together. Enma felt at peace. He-

"Enma-kun, can I see your hand?"

That question had been too sudden. His hands, now of all times, started to sweat. He agreed more easily than what would be normal for him and stretched his hand.

The backs of the limbs quickly knocked each other before relaxing and caressing. With a thundering heart, Enma breathed in shakily and swallowed. The skin was softer than he imagined, far warmer. It was comfortable and he felt like intertwining their fingers, he felt like taking a strong hold of the hand and not letting go.

Shy glances met. The red headed saw something alike to his own desire in them. But, even with that knowledge, he didn't initiate it. It scared him because he knew not if he was seeing correctly, if that was what the other wanted.

"So I guess I was just imagining things!" exclaimed Tsuna as he removed his hand.

Before neither could say anything, the Storm guardian ran towards them yelling out for his new friend. He heard that this guy and Tsunayoshi were close, too close and friendly, and that-

'Let us just eliminate him; he's in the way.'

The green monster was whispering the things they could do to the nuisance in his ear. Anger started to mould into his facial muscles and the need to hurt was there, crawling, clawing its way out. And he ran away again.

"Ah! Enma-kun! There is nothing to worry about!"

But there was. So he didn't listen.

They met not too many minutes later and every second they spent together was agonizing- they were too far- and fast. Time never waited for him. Enma was bothered by it.

Their gaze, innocent, innocent brown eyes and blood red, met when they found each other in the school's back. Each pleading for the other to say that one thing they desire. Enma found his voice, he'll start this time and maybe, just maybe, next time too. The monster said that it was a good idea.

"Why don't you run away? I'm always thinking about running away too," he said barely above a whisper. But Tsuna's eyes, his eyes...

They looked at him gratefully. They wanted that, to abandon all this troublesome mafia problems so that they could live as themselves and not as a label, a representation of a famiglia and happily amongst friends they knew wouldn't get hurt from a mistake or because of who they were. And so close... Enma was so close. Their hands would soon reach out for each other and they would live but the shackles came, "If you run away, I'll smash you with an ace!"

The annoying baby got in the way.

It was his turn to guard Tsunayoshi, a task to which he ebulliently agreed to for a reason unbeknownst to him. Enma didn't want to dwell on it too much- it probably had been a meaningless feeling- but he couldn't. He had to talk with someone trust worthy, someone that would hear him when he said that Tsunayoshi Sawada was not Vongola.

The red head took his cell phone slowly, composing a number he knew too well and waited for the other to answer. The phone rang thrice- or maybe four times- before she answered.

"I don't think that Tsunayoshi is a bad guy," he breathed out. "I think that we can rely on him."

"You should test him. The Vongola, I mean. To see if they are as trust worthy as you think they are," suggested Adelheid over the phone. "You are already in his house anyways."

He didn't think that it was necessary, Tsuna was trustable, but Adelheid just always needed to get her way. The way his guardian argued about it gave him an ominous feeling. Tsunayoshi was warm, not the beast that rend his life and left it to the Misery Mistress's hands. Tsunayoshi wasn't Vongola and he would never let it happen. So why then? The only one who could tie the innocent boy was that Arcobaleno... but he wouldn't- this was mafia business.

'Just do it. You want to see him again anyways. Besides, this would be a perfect excuse to push the others, competition, out of the way.' The green monster circled him and it convinced him too easily. But the red headed wondered, 'Competition for what?'

It didn't matter. He'll find out later, he'll get it. Right now, he had more pressing matters to attend to and the real monster of Vongola to find. A side of him felt enraged. How dare someone try to pin these atrocities on a person like Tsuna? It will pay.

But to attain his goal he needed to pretend. Pretend that he was asleep. When he heard Tsunayoshi lightly snore in the middle of the night, Enma knew that it was time to leave the warm house and the gentle boy.

He left a letter, a little white lie about a fake meeting with a mafia family on the desk.

As his hand ghosted over the doorknob, the Shimon member glanced back to the sleeping figure on the bed. Tsunayoshi was sprawled on the bed, hair disheveled, pink lips parted softly to let snores out.

'He looks so sweet when he sleeps... A kiss, a kiss! Take it! ' chanted that beast.

He didn't understand. Why a kiss? These feelings- the warmth, the fear, the nervousness, the sweaty hands and thundering heart- were... He understood. That's what he felt. And the little voice of temptation grew and grew until it didn't let him think. His body moved on its own towards the other boy. It kneeled, hands reaching out and caressing the cheeks. He leaned down, each centimeter feeling like a mile. And then, slowly and timidly, their lips met.

Enma let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The lips beneath him were soft and his were dry. Out of reflex, he licked his lips to moisturize them. His tongue trailed the lips under his, tasting something strange, addicting. The hands on his sides moved, his left one holding his weight while he leaned over and the other one touching Tsuna's small chest. The fingers stroked the area and skitter up the neck to the jaw and softly grasped it. Unsure but tempted, the red head squeezed the jaw open gently, the tongue slipping in.

An amazing taste assaulted his taste buds, setting his skin ablaze. He heard the monster purr contentedly, his own throat imitating the sound. The tongue brushing with the other. The hand that had been squeezing the jaw moved to fondle with the sleeping one's chest. Enma heard his breathing growing ragged, felt his body become desperate.

When his hand touched a sensitive spot, he heard a soft enticing moan. It took him by surprise, snapping him from his trance. The fire under his skin grew stronger and the beast was complaining- 'Why did you stop?'- and he needed to get away.

So he did.

Enma Kozato waited. And waited and waited but Tsunayoshi never came. Adelheid did.

"I saw him today at school..." She looked at him sadly before continuing, "Maybe he is not one for us to confide in. He seemed to not care about your message."

He knew she was telling the truth. Adelheid always thought of friends before family. So he thought as to what could have stopped the other from coming. The other guardians, all who lust for the Sky's attention, would not have done this. They would have made Tsuna sad by suggesting the mere idea of throwing a 'friend' to the wolves. Before he could think of another suspect, he remembered what Reborn had said. That he would beat him if he tried to escape. And it all made sense. He chained Tsunayoshi, hid the truth from him like the Vongola, the monster, he is. Bile climbed towards his mouth. Enma then realized something. He didn't belong there with Tsuna. Tsuna belonged here with him. So, if he wanted the other, he'll have to rip him from that thing's clutches, take him to a place where they'll be unable to do anything...

The green beast growled in agreement.

Before the next time the heirs met again, Enma had finished crafting his plan. He was about to set it in motion when he received a call. His lips twitched upwards, the lovely one was calling him. He had been waiting for such an occasion, for more closeness-

"Enma... I-I..." sobbed the voice in the line.

"What happened?" He was concerned. Not for the Vongola or the Arcobalenos but for Tsunayoshi, he didn't deserve to cry, be harmed... But it was inevitable; he'll have to hurt him to set him 'free'.

"Yamamoto is in the hospital... He-he was attacked."

After the call, he went to the hospital with a few of his guardians, Julie being concerned over wooing some girl and some just didn't care. Enma searched for the familiar innocent boy in the room only to find his face tear-streaked. Tsuna looked small. Smaller than before, more frail.

And their eyes met again.

Rage swept over him harder than ever before, and looking into those eyes- those eyes he wants concentrated only on him because nobody else was worthy- made the rage worse. He could see it in the eyes whilst they stare. Enma saw the desire to approach him, to hold him for comfort in the watery eyes. And frankly, Enma wanted it too. But neither wanted to initiate it. The disapproving glares he would get from his family, the reprimanding speech Tsuna would receive by that disgusting baby was enough to stir them away.

But it was ok, he will get what he wanted soon enough. And soon enough will the ceremony start and that will be when everything will be set in motion. The red head knew that the other would be unable to resist, he'll be so easily lured. He wouldn't be able to escape the green beast's claws.

And thus, the day of the ceremony, their anti-Vongola plan was discovered too late in a fury of smoke, screams and destruction. The Shimon, their resolve, would never allow such thing to fail. They didn't.

Blood red eyes met scared, betrayed brown eyes. Both boys wanted to tell each other that what was going on wasn't true, it wasn't happening. Enma Kozato was about to do so, courage swelled in him because of the successful mission. He parted his lips-

'If you say anything, he'll stay in their clutches.'

The green monster was right. It was also louder and he felt it smirk and his own mouth mirror the movement. The beast grew, matured, fused with him. No, it was always he. So he was a beast, just like those Vongolas. But he was a good creature, he wanted to put Tsuna where he belonged.

Nothing was going to stop him.

Just like he planned, the Vongola followed them to the island and dispatched the Decimo and a few of his guardians. Now, he was too far from the thing's eyes and claws.

Their eyes met again. Longing clear in them but neither made a move. A smile spread through Enma's face; the other felt as he did. His feelings were shared. He licked his lips in hunger.

Now that Tsunayoshi Sawada was in his lair, he'll be able to cage him and taste those lovely lips once again.

Ah yes, but first he'll have to eliminate those annoying 'guardians'.

* * *

Mamihlapinatapai: A look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin.


End file.
